Get all 48 Marietta Medicine releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 100円 (2023 Reissue), Push Away / Absorb, All My Friends Have Left Me, Vol. II, Dolls, All My Friends Have Left Me, Vol. I, Celestial Assortments, Innocent Angel, Dark Web, and 40 more.
1. |
300円
07:11
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START OF ADOLESCENCE:
2015 in a brand new season
chillin w my friends
they nicotine fiendin
cigarette stealin
sorry but we need it
i dont wanna harm
but i get a different feelin
i cant wait to get older
keep buildin up knowledge
learnin how to shoplift
too slick yeah
we won't go to 2020*
even when weve been caught
we move on
im learnin how to not care abt anyone
love is weak n hate is tough
tryna get drunk im never too young
makin fake gangs plannin who to jump
make a flag
sneak in2 a yard
then i stick it
ya hate the art
wanna burn it
u get met w toxins
u cant stop us
throwin rocks in the street
bustin tires
for the fun it gives me
* = 2020 refers to juvie and not the year, didn't know that was slang specific to here until a few months ago
SUMMARY OF ADOLESCENCE:
virginity sold for 300 yen
for a high i want sex
i want spirits seeping in2 me
i want souls i want head
get out of the closet
kno my eyes give u neck
grace fingers down ur chest
golden touch made u ur best
taping blankets to the window
cutting light frim my lair
lay snorting and absorbing
feel the touch of the air
he wanna fuck right now
i wont take i give it
stranded in the desert
so thirsty im sipping
from the temple
gettin high too
the more real it becomes
the less i wanna talk abt it
ive sung more words than ive spoken
ive made less solutions than ive broken
writing a song is the closest i get to
a conversation, the only 1 u wont forget
pray to the predator
i hope it sees me
my words ain't local
but they always reach sweden
later this year
ive been thinkin bout meetin
up w some friends that i used to have
but i don't got a car or money for a Lyft
n idk how im gonna fit in their shift
n i dont even know where they currently live
jus a neet w some dirty thoughts
and hedonist dreams
she see me i ignore her
droppin down 2 her knees
ya invite me i got time
i got nothin goin on
n ill get ya high
cuz im tryna get off that shit
need one more sniff
w a chick who plans to slit
my wrists
lost control of my urges
got a visceral feeling
lit but im lonely
i jus stare at the ceiling
wastin low income
on sex toys n drugs
how did i get here?
fuck around w hand sanitizer
put it in a tissue sniff it up
shits all jokes pretend for fun
bring a bag of flour
like the forbidden dust
i wud never try that
its a bit
friend comin over
tryna film a skit
lets add fake drugs
to the concept of the vid
he sits on the porch
n lights a cig
im concerned thats unhealthy
i don't wanna get caught
n ive seen all those commercials
where their skin turn to rot
tho i know that shit ain't ever
happened to my mom
she was smokin at this age
so ill let him move along
used to hate me
now they never leave
workin for them always
get nothin sweet
gotta get it on time
or they get angry
hanging everyday
yet i feel lonely
we be doin evil shit n
i got some of it on camera
some of it written
archived online forever
never gonna leave my internet friends
we gonna move in when we adults i bet
sike
ill prolly die before i move
blocked em on insta
i got other things i wanna do
scrollin thru pictures
of parties i wasnt invited to
i wonder where they at
back then i always knew
recently i heard [person 1] was beating on his girlfriend
met her with aggression when she wanted contraception
the dude i walked around with who i wanted to be
is someone who ill never give an ounce of sympathy
same with [person 2] and same with [person 3]
who raped an exfriend who became a nazi
her friend did too but she seemed abused
i hope shes doin well n she didnt get groomed
keep ur guards up
were embedded with weapons
since 12 ive just
been met with depression
is this karma for the damage ive done
even with apologies ive tried to make it up
how long will it last n will it ever really end
is it gonna haunt me while im on my deathbed
does it mean shit to make amends
cant change it now that time was spent
ive done shit that i know i cant live down
hide the evidence but it made a sound
the worst part of it is how young i was
how when i was 12 i fucked it up at
i been messed up
had a friend die in 6th grade
hope i didnt cause it
but cant say its not the case
they said she needed god
at her funeral, shamed
traumas in my dreams
i dont know if their fake
a good kid gone bad
addicted to the trouble
destined for a future
ended early in the rubble
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2. |
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sleeping in the day
i might throw a fuckin fit
but i work my own hours
shud i rly give a shit
hanging to a nonexistent truth
lost up in a vision cant move
i daydream till i sleep
i keep switchin up the shift
im either stressed or depressed
n it makes me wanna quit
u wanna get a gift come thru
ill get ya anything i dont do
do it for an interaction
i dont care if its irrational
my doc prescribed me heroin
thats positive for fentanyl
ion trust a thing
im on sick sad world
they think im paranormal
im not like the other girls
ill not do something jus 2 say i did it
jus 2 bait the cops in2 tryna find the evidence
wake up commit
stolen valour in this bitch
back to warn u die
w no whores on ur dick
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3. |
Cincipunk
02:19
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im a no good stupid cincinnati punk
no fucking good jus a hated cincipunk
rich colorado punks seem to hate me too
wonder why cuz im nasty n i also speak the truth
i love having sex fashion
but i dont have sex
everytime that shes over
shes just lookin for a check
i relate thats the way
that i am with men
dont accept at the end
im jus broke n repressed
nobodys from cinci
so nobody get me
and the ones that are here
wanna move next week
no friends left
if i even had any
n now i gotta hang
w masculinity
cuz im a no good stupid cincinnati punk
no fucking good jus a hated cincipunk
rich colorado punks seem to hate me too
wonder why cuz im nasty n i also speak the truth
dont wanna write about drugs
but i got nothin sober
i cud tell a couple stories
then the convo wud be over
i just focus on the music
tryna make shit nice
cuz i cant get a job
or a car or a life
i am so braindead
n i embrace it
what u say what u hatin
i engrave it
i kno theres some1 else
in this city like me
im jus here to get em
to be proud to be a freak
n a no good stupid cincinnati punk
no fucking good jus a hated cincipunk
rich colorado punks seem to hate us too
wonder why cuz were nasty n we also speak the truth
but i cant find them cuz i never talk
im too anxious my brain jus stops
i wanna love but so pissed off
i stay isolated til i rot
i love having a girl fashion
but i dont have a girl
she seemed into me
when she was playin w her curls
even tho i am a lover i cannot express it
n they all got over me n i cant get em back
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4. |
Fujoshi Friend
03:16
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wake up put a bullet in his throat
make some tonsil stones
got some sugar ayo
i aint tryna k hole
doin bumpsdoin lines
sneezing blood i still aint high
this beat fuckin annoyin
so ill switch it
kickin it in the livin room
we watch our boyfriends fuck
they dont even like each other
they jus do it for us
imminent gettin faster
damn i think they bouta cum
if u want my love
u gon have 2 make him nut
crystal coat lungs w my fujoshi friend
not tryna fuck like you knew me then
im so horny but sedated as shit
so ill watch u fuck when im w my bitch (my friend!)
$20 on the chain
plus a lil change
fucked up face
w a quarter brain
still more swag
than u cud ever have
still more cock
than u cud ever pack
feelin kinda cool
feelin chill
feelin everyrhing
get hard with a gun
to ur face
call it double spray
ion keep it around
i cant promise
i wont shoot myself
but ion fw knives
so i keep a dozen
in my shelf
im fuckin psychotic n neurotic
all ur fears i find erotic
white paint on my desk
when i scrape
face dead when i drip
leaks red to my chin
ten bricks like im rich
every saving went to this
i gotta get clean
i gotta find god
i gotta cut my way out this web
where ive been caught
illogical 4 me 2 try to
think abt the future
too improbable to see me
outliving this computer
boots n lust
n drugs n dust
n tension but
we never fuck
i love u like ur ex n then
i hate u like ur crush
u had my back
u had my trust
when i call ur name
u never come
if theres some1 else in the building
im the last one that u want
im in a depressive state
but this shit has got me manic
yet im seein thru the cracks
of the traits n i panic
n i shake when i talk
n i break when i stop
the escape
is a trap
kickin it in the livin room
we watch our boyfriends fuck
they dont even like each other
they jus do it for us
imminent gettin faster
damn i think they bouta cum
if u want my love
u gon have 2 make him nut
ima kill myself in sex
cuz that's the only thing i want
choke me out and cut me up
until im feeling numb
turning myself to an object
i still dont do it enough
i love the way my soul depletes
when im getting fucked
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5. |
Y2K Bettie Page
03:58
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im the 21st century bettie page
new kink princess
ima pave my own way
microphone in one hand
the other holding chains
tighten round their necks
while they fuck on stage
half fuckboy
half pretty little bitch
full in power
0% snitch
hiding all this molly
in a case breath mints
build my whole damn house
out of cocaine bricks
thank god for mental illness
fuck him for anton newcombe
jesus was a sinner
i can say it cuz i knew em
god is a man cuz a man is an opp
the touch of a faggot made his fuckin heart stop
mixing shrooms n cocaine
2 return back 2 normal
ditchin funerals
cuz ion wanna dress formal
fuck the industry
some my shit cant get on streaming
if it doesnt work i wont conform
i see past all the scheming
they dont want me to express myself
but i dont rly need em
they dont know their missin out
when im bigger theyll b fiendin
love to criticize my lyrics
but dont get the bigger meaning
do i have to spell it out
with no beat and while im screaming
bored of cum
now im into blood
i don't want ur
motherfuckin nut
i can tell that this
shit has been cut
but it gets me high
so i don't give a fuck
look how well i raised satan ultimate trendsetter
paint flipped pentagrams on red leather
influencing actions of half of every party
solo cups writin triple 6 w a sharpie
we got pride sloth lust greed gluttony
free bumps of sugar high grade ketamine
screams blood in a maximum pleasure orgy
gunshots outside yeah bitch dont bore meeee
feel like chief keef
put the k & e in coke
running o comes out my nose
if i add in h ill choke
drink 60g of protein
2 level out the blow
still he like me cuz im skinny
n the feeling of my throat
of course i like to get my dick sucked
who gives abt the fuck about the gender
close ur eyes if its too much
ill fuck anyone on coke
thats the reason y i do it
bleedin out my nose
while they watch me like im truman
they think the shit is hot but they also look concerned
cant ignore the hemorrhage so they start to be all stern
oh my god
i can do this like a million times
see the power inside infinite blood supply
come n hit me from the back
while ur girls in the front
put ur mouth under
let it drip from the cunt
ill request anything
when im on drugs
get it all for cheap
cuz i fuck my plug
on that 2001 industrial rock shit man
you can call me jack off jill
find my shit on limewire
i make music for the thrill
i skullfuck my listeners
n then they pay my bills
dox a motherfucker
then they go for the kill
get me thru the comedown
now i dont feel ill
i end the conversation
cuz i start to feel sick
rise to extroverted
fall to misanthropic
the greatest trick i ever pulled
is convince yall hell was fiction
converting saints to sinners
successful lil mission
best trick i ever pulled
is convince yall hell was fiction
and i am in control of it
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6. |
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im the third enby in a boy band
first to lead a girl group
fourth to love my fans
and it stands to be true
seein u i feel anew
snortin bloody residue
telling me to chill
i hear wingdings
everything i sing
becomes real
a special kinda power
that nobody can steal
ill deal a cause of death
2 the rich 4 the thrill of it
they wanna fight me back
bitch ill kick yo hoverboard
when i tug the leash
u better kiss me
stare in2 my eyes
i am seeing that u missed me
i feel a lil light lil sick
can u get me
ion wanna fall so hard
while battling these demons
i eventually succumb
in an effort to delete them
i have found myself as one
i keep an angel chain
to convince im not corrupt
but u find that it was never love
just actions of my lust
a catalyst that caused
some deeper feelings to develop
i missed you when i saw u
get lost in2 the shutter speed
n im jus in the back
point the phone away from my face
i guess im that bad
this shit got me higher
than american divorce rates
ran out of supply
but i know that porn pays
throw me in a fire
i wont burn ill roll it out
ok im numb from the pain
n im dry in my mouth
copped some nasal spray
for the post nasal drip
15 squirts
kinda lookin like yo bitch
i can take u out
i wont pressure for the touch
have a date w/o sex
sure thats on love
somehow i feel worse than sober
i cannot get any closer
both so fucked i get no closure
telling u i just want over
was it real or was i dreaming
seems we had a different meaning
months have passed u never see me
cant accept ur life its gleaming
i kno she stared at me in my eyes
i dont wanna be another heartbreak
not the one that i want in my life
too drunk to fuck i aint feelin right
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7. |
Fishscale 0.5g
02:15
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rockstar spotlight
popstars to the side
fuck each other feelin right
love a model she my type
hold her when she grind
eightball when the night calls
snort it off a knife
talk shit i cud fight yall
angel w the anthrax
spread my wings
release my glitter
call it pcp
divine ass bitch
from the 513
not shit cool here
except the presence of me
boy y u talkin w that fuckhole
put it round the pistol n
cry while i chuckle
suck my dick n kiss it
when were finished gotta cuddle
ill be subtle if theres no aftercare
im in trouble, fuck it
live fast die young
take a bullet fore i think
put in drive start 2 drink
hit the club underaged
risk a life for my needs
drive back i speed
im a trendsetter turn a prude in2 a whore
fuck a girl once now they show up at her door
kill a reputation when i get a lil bored
dick up in his throat kill his vocal cords
she text me after midnight
say she love me
i don't think she means it
i wont show affection
even if i want to
itd prolly get her stressin
better to be silent n
continue my depression
these wants r unsustainable
i need love
fuckin every1
they don't rly feel nothin
while i jus feel my soul deplete
its hard to breathe
its funny, now she think im mean
i had half a gram of coke
but i dont kno where itd go
cop lights thru the window
on my face while i smoke
n i wonder if they got it
they jus keepin it stored
to later check the fingerprints
forget it time to snort
rockstar spotlight
popstars to the side
fuck each other feelin right
love a model she my type
hold her when she grind
eightball when the night calls
snort it off a knife
talk shit i cud fight yall
enemies hung in the closet ceiling
cuttin off his tongue n usin it for pleasin
blow out blood next day i be sneezing
young punk slut in love with feelin
if u wanna fuck i dont care
tell me now n stop the stare
bitin off the side of her underwear
peter steele if he had a brain in there
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8. |
Pouring
05:00
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when im high doing lines
shes here pourin up
something new in our lives
its rewarding us
when i lie feeling nice
shes here pourin up
yea she shows up everytime
guess she bored enough
ive got a girl lost in a world of her own
she jus pouring up she dont love she jus pourin up
she untouched
im fucked up
i hate drugs
they just make me fuckin sick
fuck up @meninisttweet
we dont want or need anything to do with u
got the quick diss now back to my shit
the addiction that god pushed me to
im doin drugs like hailey bell
guess im bailin hell
til im at the gates when i kill myself
then ya better wish me well
gettin my money from tinder sellin
she flirtin but i cannot tell it
gettin too old for learning
i just earn and dont get let to delve in
kelvin under 40 in my heart
he sorta tore me up with shards
i acted horny went too far
so now this girl be pouring hard
anything u need
everything u need
ima get it to ya free
jus for being sexy
cuz i kno where to get it
kno exactly where to get it
but for now jus let me hit it
cuz I'm feelin bedridden
when u think
anything is possible
u jus gotta have no morals
n to sacrifice ur soul
i cud make it so authentically
if i do it til i mold
but i don't wanna hang w pornstars
when I'm already too old
get so paranoid when i smoke alone
suckin up flames they burn my throat
she comes in while i think slow
and when she leaves i feel so low
kill a best friend
if its all for her
she my love
and im immersed
wash away the
issues that occur
when i lie her down
and numb her hurt
ima bring back mafioso rap
nah fuck that ima make my friend do that
with my name attached while i sit back
writin copyright claims
with ya income sapped
makin take down take down
bitch u gotta pay now
we aint sign a contract
so the fuck u boutta say now
fl on the gas
goin fast like i told u
singin with a major
take a guess who i sold to
i aint even like her
i jus fuck her til she gone
but she helps me as a writer
and to mention in a song
she goes dumb
n ill be the one
with the mugshot
and the one locked
ive got a girl lost in a world of her own
she dont love she jus show up when i do the shit alone
pouring like the rain in the clouds she aint coming home
everytime she fades when im sober baby plz don't go
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9. |
Black Hair Misa
04:00
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padlock on my fist
slit up pieces of ur wrist
turn ur body into grits
twistin pipes devils kiss
suckin burns on my tongue
spit it o so bitter
drop u in it like autumn
framin up another quitter
spendin money on the switch
i dont work but im rich
ion gotta make a wish
its all easy to get
wear a mace round my neck
like a chain gettin head
if u mess w me bet
on her chest or ur death
let me in the gates
ill fill up my soul w satan
tryna mix everything
carvin shapes in my brain
i jus snort it up baby
goin crazy in the bathroom
shiver in the tub
while the music still blastin
why r u so scared
sink in2 the corner
n i start to feel a tap
thats when my mind set
but im too afraid 2 ask
in front her hundred friends
then she take me to the back
nah this aint what i want
nah this aint what i need
pinchin on my arm
its like the previous dreams
comfort in my thoughts
now it makes my heart beat
said its way overdue
no its way too sweet
black hair misa on the throne
put the dealer on the phone
bloody hands ive been disowned
dowse a wound w acetone
n all the chemicals
exposed u moan
it kills my soul
got em all up in a row
im the only u approach
rly not much of a pro
this shit put me in a choke
u hold me tight i float
im feelin light i gotta go
spinnin round in circles
while i feel like a fuckin goddess
sweatin twistin turnin nervous
shakin sorry im so nauseous
got dialudid in his pocket
sorta temptin ill just vomit
guess my new lover took it anyways
i fear until she stops it
baby throw it up
i dont wanna see u die
u laugh to give me comfort
n u give me more to try
im not rly
okay with this
start 2 tear up
n u grab my wrist
u take me to the back
ion want this again
u tell me to relax
n 2 lay n listen
always saw me frontin
say ur just the same
well that dont mean nothin
cuz ive seen u changed
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10. |
Serotonin Syndrome
02:23
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yall been sellin vapes for 7 years
i wanna see some change
i want crack i want meth
i want addy and cocaine
ima mix em w my bitches
we goin insane
serotonin syndrome
fry my useless brain
bad girls keep the whole city on 10
when we come around better get it on deck
get a lil manic when our needs rnt met
give it to me now fore u see us upset
i get paid for wearing clothes
they think that ill strip
or ill suck on their dick
so i tell them i will
and i walk away rich
while i leave em blueballed
bash a cops skull in
sell murder fuel legally
cuz they wanna fuck w me n my team
i havent been this pissed since i was on ssris
and when im pissed off i lose my flow and rhymes
guess that means im half pissed or something
but im mad now
fuck a sugar daddy
fuck a scammer ass pussy
ima fuck u once or nothin
hundred bucks u better gimme
tryna bribe me w a status
i already know i cud be
step out of the car door cameras on me
dress stay richer than the paparazzi
united states socialite pussy seem tight
u thought motherfucker starin at my lil thighs
jam my dick down in his throat
and he got no reaction
like a motherfuckin object
beat it up then i pass it
im smashin male pornstars
in my foreign car
in the back while im tourin far
i was born hard
bad girls keep the whole city on 10
when we come around better get it on deck
get a lil manic when our needs rnt met
give it to me now fore u see us upset
if u dont love urself
girl i promise I'm sorry
never too late to say it
and to quit self harmin
goddamn this album influential as shit
check the future i inspired justin biebers next hits
look at da flicka da wrist
look at da flicka da wrist
im stupid as shit
but i still see oppression
in the governments tricks
n ill take em all down
w no fuckin assist
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11. |
Dedication / Empty Youth
08:32
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DEDICATION:
walking in the halls
with some lines in my palm
all alone to myself
writin try to keep calm
playin w the knives
till i realized my potential
took myself out of the pit
so at least id have credentials
get home do it 5 hours everyday
i wud imagine diff stories
when i got nothing 2 say
ima turn this shit to a career
i doubt its happening today
got my aim on 7 years
it cud b a decade
they used to use me for my talents
then they took them n they ran w em
n threw me out to rot cuz
i aint posturin
u had fame for a year if even
now everybody hates you
see ur fake you
put on a mask
to hide ur misogyny
at least i didnt peak at 16
with greed being the only
thing driving me
maybe a lil secondarily
but im here tryna build a team
its killing me but its worth it
making another purchase
while i eat into my savings
for a musical purpose
and i know my songs aint perfect
but they gettin pretty close
the only artists better are
the ones were yet to know
im a hedonist but ill deal w a grind
if it leads to me gettin shit to stimulate my mind
look a bit ahead im already gettin hyped
finally meeting all the angels it makes me wanna cry
yea i got unrealistic dreams i cant lie
but if i didnt id give up
so its all to save my life
filling in the void
by devoting all my time
to making art and going hard
and coming up with rhymes
the probability of good outcomes from here on out
its low but it still counts
i wonder if my classmates think about me now
the kid that no one ever knew anything about
im not the greatest rapper and im not the best singer
im not the best producer but i know my sound will linger
im not the best writer but im sort of a magician
cuz i lack in all those things yet i stay the best musician
i dont give a fuck if my mic breaks
and im homeless
ima make some shit thats
amazing with my phone
its part of the patttern
an artist has w/o catering
part of the plan
thats god hand
has made for me
5 i wanted to be a rockstar
at 9 i wanted to rap
15 wanted to be both
19 i was that
n im 18 now so
do what u will w that
rhymed the same word twice
so rap critics on my ass
i gotta push myself
to get this done now
or ill be starving
or at a shitty job
self harming
i dont wanna wear long sleeves
in the summer again
i did it once and i called that the end
im hanging onto dreams
but u cant judge me
cuz at least im not settling
to be unhappy
i remember 10th grade man
gender dysphoria at all time high
i look back at it n cry
she was such an angel
hung up over a boy
so she was making synthpop
songs that went like
if i cant get no love
can i just hook up
itd b good enough
i got like no ones trust
i give mine too much
i wont no
shit whats the other fix
i got respect for hip hop
so i aint tryna be in it
nor any other genre or movement
or any scene n shit
i dont stand a chance
in a single of them
ill create my own lane
along with my friends
i like wicca phase and wayne
and unwound and ch
and producers talkin
neptunes friendzone also jay
yeah i also fuck with salem
but thats for another day
needa focus on my sound
gotta pave my own way
theres nothing in this world
ive found that can fit me in
used to feel excluded
but its ok to be different
ive learned
i still feel lonely tho
but many do
so im tryna speak
for the ppl
that feel me too
they say i can't live w/o a job
whos stopping me
u can call me insane
yea i oughta be
fuck america
fuck ohio
fuck the concept of money
ima survive solely
off of passion and loving
the probability of good outcomes from here on out
its low but it still counts
i wonder if my classmates think about me now
the kid that no one ever knew anything about
money makers in my room
but i chose the broken ones
thats just how it goes
at least it kept me from a gun
n even if im dead
I'll still make a change
rotting in respect
with a spotlight on my grave
EMPTY YOUTH:
single in a few days
maybe itll be the hit
i thought the last one would be
and the one before it
and my last mixtape
and my last ep
i jus wanna create
and to stay making these
even if i pop off
theyll see that im insane
so do i even wanna succeed anyways
give the worst intro
if they find me online
holdin up my baggage
everytime i advertise
i see my best friend
when im lying in bed
i waste my whole day
jus to talk to some1 fake
i lost all of my friends
when they saw the cocaine
haven't seen em since
mightve moved away
i dont kno its funny
thought hed b my partner
or close, stunning
now hes the departer
i look at our last messages every week
don't kno where he is just
hope he remembers me
a distant memory
one i never got to touch
i fear being rejected
cuz he left due to my lust
depression since 11
sex addiction since 7
never seen it thrice
i aint gettin in2 heaven
ill get back to that
i miss hearing my name
from him or anyone else
it hasnt felt the same
ur at college plz dont talk abt it, honest
the thing i used to dream abt now that dream is gone and
i see the future closing in
look in every corner n i see dead ends
i see a fire too inconfident to call it
watch em burn knowin how i cudve solved it
i wanna make a song but i cant find a sample
i tried to make a synth but it turned into shambles
i wanna add a layer but its always a gamble
i tried to write a song n i cudnt help but ramble
fill a tub of what i hate n i bathe in it
write my least favourite words on the wall
i wake up and im seein em
im castin spells on myself
n theyre working
better than i wanted
they dont seem to be reversing
4 i didnt kno religion
8 wanted to go to heaven
14 i wanted to go to hell
18 i did that in a second
this shit sound repetitive
like the never ending
slew of sedatives
ill send myself to settle this
these days i just reminisce
like its ended since
relive a different era
like theres nothin left to experience
im aware theres a god
but i dont know what they think
but ill believe in satan
cuz only theyd accept me
everybody growing
im consistently regressing
left out in the dark
cant see i stay guessing
i wanna choose my cause of death
before smth gets me
but that means worse eternal pain
n im not ready
i get nothin when i do the most
body decomposed
by the time that they notice
whats the point of living for it
|
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12. |
Stone Cold Face
04:07
|
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yearn, initiate
look down at ur dress
turn heads look away
what did i expect
stone cold face
seems i make u pressed
stone cold face
like im medusa
ur frown engraved
painted fuschia
u wanna leave no trace
like i used a
i wanna be erased
but i dont try
if u vanish in the rain
i wud cry
can i keep u here
if love dont mean a thing
u got a whole career
all i do is sing
ur needs r never met
what is there to bring
i cud get u what i dread
dont wanna fuel ur issues
hidden by ur bed
rolled bill n some tissues
i just saw u dead
n i really fuckin missed u
just like half a sec
but it felt longer than a few
i got time before i rest
u wont let me spend it with u
my brain so fried
serotonin turn 2 nothing
wasted all potential
buildin nothin out of somethin
if i honed my skills young
maybe id be tourin london
if i quit the drugs but
its way too late i love it
n krs one told us
loves gonna getcha
i cud say that its true
but im always gonna miss ya
its jus part of who i am
yet i only can express it
when i bathe myself
in poisons that acidify the stresses
tryna find a gun in the back
tryna find a dumb motherfucker to attack
tryna find love in the back
course i aint get no luck
course i aint get no love
it sucks
im up ignored again
left alone w no requests
i pray the lord my soul to spare
and lend it to the devil's Lair
i hate this fuckin life i live
i wanna see it over with
keep linin up these sediments
i cried time to feel dissonant
three lines i fade into abyss
i want euthanasia
ima take it til i sleep
|
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13. |
The Morning
02:44
|
|||
waking in the morning
like i got a care
like u wanted me
no longer there
i cant stay
destitute for life
get up and work for
pink guitars and knives
endless browse my life away
i waste time my life decays
the time i spend i cant get back
in a void with a heart attack
face down i think of you
n others that dont exist
hold me close and pull me thru
hypnotized to your bliss
fade into euphoria
you form before my eyes
make me simmer down in
heaven with the sinners by my side
love influenced actions
im relaxing with the passion
in attraction to your body
and ur sassiness and axioms
im a superstar
gettin feedback from reviews
1000 word essays
about why my shit is new
support is fabricated
dissapearing with the moon
disintegrate im waking up
im calling out for you
its 2 late
i never get it right
sweating thru the bed
exposed to the light
drained of all emotions
n thoughts
i cannot respond
stranded in a goal
im lost
aspirations gone
i shiver slow
its in my veins
dont get it tho
a mindless state
cant send a message
cuz I'm embarrassed of the last one
dont wanna see it
hope u aint got ur glasses on
i hit everybody up
tryna break thru the anxiety
never hit me back
no effort gets put into me
|
||||
14. |
Another Love Leaves...
04:05
|
|||
i look my best
but i shudnt stress
if u cant see me
why shud i dress
gettin crush after crush
cant get no love
i look aloof n
they think im done
i miss your voice
and being called with it
nothing to aim for
hanging on a wish
drove away fast
leave me stranded in the mist
staring at the desk
daydreaming of ur kiss
had one reason to get out of bed
and it was you
i remember less of how u look
but i dont want to
counting on the rain
to rinse off the flame
the fix has been detained as
the fire has been tamed
goin to bed hungry
money unsustained
my nose has gotta wait to heal
i cannot escape
i need a fix now
but i cannot get it
my wallet fully empty
n ima go ballistic
if only u were here
i wudnt deal w this
or maybe u wud bring it
n id do it with u
first time u asked me out
i had turned u down
thought u jus played around
i really want you now
came to see you
now you're 1200 miles away
didnt find that out till today
cant listen to that song
took me back to the event
shaking when i hear it
was the marker of an end
no time left to try to get it right
everything i aimed for stops tonight
cud i get her back if i try to supply
is he w them for the rest of his life
is there anybody left who wud hold me tight
everytime i think they will they jus never reply
is that a friend
i dont know
throw em out
regrets n lust
n drugs n dust
n tension but
we never fucked
i love u ur the best
ill never hate u n it sucks
|
||||
15. |
||||
one day i accept that u leave
one day ill be set free
one day im finally clean
one day ill become me
if i had what i want right now
what would i try to aim for
feel better when i finally get it
friends movements fame tours
and lives changed
there's a silver lining in everything
took me a while to realize
that it might be better anyways
i know who i wanna be with
but if they reject me
then its all ok
we dont work how i was guessing
maybe i wont be at college
but i can still meet the same people
maybe not a big deal if i dont
that whole system is evil
so least i aint pursuin shit
i dont wanna do
just for a chance
at finding a man
there's always some1 out there
w the troubles i have
when we come together
nothing matters in the past
the child in me is tryna protect
its commendable but
they don't understand adults yet
if some1 said the same things i say about myself
i would argue against them
so why dont i keep the same energy
and add affirmations
im not useless if ive made someone smile
and i can do it again even if its been a while
|
Marietta Medicine Cincinnati, Ohio
GOTH GF FUCK FUCK FREE NUDE TITS@!
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